[ Introduction | Shows | Dates | Theme Song ]

It Pays To Be Ignorant

Compiled by

Quiz Master:	Tom Howard
Panelists:	Harry McNaughton Lulu McConnell George Shelton
Announcer:	Ken Roberts
Music:	Dr. Nat Novick

Harry McNaughton, Lulu McConnell, George Shelton, Tom Howard

[ Top | Shows | Dates | Theme Song ]

Introduction

Harry McNaughton, George Shelton and the "Nail-Up Girl" Lulu McConnell were the panelists, with Tom Howard as the quiz master in this hilarious spoof of quiz shows. The panelists were billed as the dumbest people on the planet, and proceeded to spend the next half hour proving that fact. When asked questions like "What color is the Little Red Schoolhouse?", they attempt to clarify the query by asking completely irrelevant questions, interrupting each other, talking in circles, and following dead end discussions in a vain attempt to find the answer.

Each show opens with:
     theme fanfare
     Howard: What is a reigning beauty?   (replace by Q/A's below)
     Shelton:A girl who's all wet.
     Howard: Correct. Pay that man $8.00
     theme fanfare
     Howard: If four frankfurters cost 10 cents, what is 500 frankfurters?
     Shelton:A lot of bologna.
     Howard: Correct. Pay that man $9.00 because...
     announcer: It Pays To Be Ignorant
     theme up full

After Tom is introduced, he introduces Harry as the celebrated author on the panel, mentioning the title of this week's book, like "The Tree of Knowledge or Don't Be Fooled by Pretty Limbs". Harry will then read his latest poem, under duress.

Lulu is introduced next, usually with a barrage of terms like Melon-Collie Baby (she only has one tooth, like a baby, as well as the standard insult), Miss Death Valley of 1944, or "here's a woman who should have been born in the Dark Ages because she looks terrible in the light". Then in a raspy saw-blade voice she tells the trouble her old man got into or some such. When a male member of the audience is introduced, her main interest is his first name and marital status.

George is introduced last, with the implication that he couldn't out-think a comatose flea. When an audience member mentions the town they're from, George inevitably "used to work in that town!" and he'd tell everyone the dumbest job you can imagine.

Music interludes are generally a classical and contemporary hodgepodge, sometimes straight, sometime very Spike Jonesish (without the non-musical instruments like burps and moos), and usually with the mike is open as Tom and the panelist comment and ridicule the music and orchestra. The music leader is a mystery to me. He's always introduced as "Dr. Nat Novick" but Tom thanks "Johnny" after the opening theme. According to Dunning, while the show was on Mutual, music was handled by Tom's son, Tom Jr. Then, on CBS, the orchestra leader was Harry Salter. So I don't really know who did what when.

I heard from Robert, a cousin of Nathan Novick. Nat was a Julliard graduate (year of 1917), a violinist and composer and a music theory teacher in NYC. He was part of the Bell Telephone Hour, a long running concert series.

As intellectual quiz shows grew in popularity, Bob Howell of WELI, New Haven, CT put together an outline for a quiz show parody. Ruth Howard created the test script and sold it to the promoter with her father as the moderator. Tom Howard and George Shelton were in vaudeville together, Harry McNaughton from England and American radio comedy, and Lulu McConnell also from vaudeville.

Many shows are undated, and edited (badly) for AFRS broadcast. And the dated ones are questionable in my opinion. While trying to correlate the known dated shows with newspaper logs of broadcast dates, some show dates coincide with non-broadcast dates. I therefore question all dates and broadcast numbers.

[ Top | Introduction | Dates | Theme Song ]

Available Shows

ordered by first question

Dates in italics or ???? I have on tape but not digital -- yet
Dates listed as ?? have been received without dates
Shows with multiple dates I've received with different dates

Date Guest	First teaser question answer	Second teaser question answer
	Tom Howard's introduction to the show

?? (skips)	(something about a club) (something about ink)	(something about a chicken can't sit down) (standing up under the strain)
	(skip) program again that belongs in the hall (skip). We have a board of experts are so (skip) some kind of a boat.
44-10-27	Can a letter box? No, but a sardine can.	Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.
	Well, Friday means fish, so here's that fishy quiz program again...
44-10-13 Roland Young	Do married men live longer than single men? No, it only seems longer.	On which side do you milk a cow? On the outside.
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that as an educational feature should be in the hall of fame, because it's a bust.
45-04-06	Do you believe in clubs for women? Yes, but only when kindness fails.	What is a hat? Something the average man wears, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws in the ring, and the politician talks through.
	Once again we disturb your peace of mind with that 'you can expect anything' quiz program It Pays to be Ignorant.
49-01-23	How can you make a woman keep her mouth shut? Put glue in her lipstick	How can you cool off a motor? Strip the gears
	Well, here again is that screwy quiz program that people are talking about but I can't tell you what they are saying about it.
44-08-25 44-09-08	How can you tell a Jersey Cow? By it's license plates.	What kind of a person lives the longest? A rich relative.
	Here we are again with that quiz program about which all of America's greatest educators have said "Phooey!"
44-07-14 (093)	How do you keep milk from souring? Keep it in the cow	What is a miser? A man who eats mice
	Well, here it is, that menace to education again, with a board of experts who think books are used to put under broken legs of bureaus
44-04-21	How do you keep the back door from slamming? Use the front door	What is the difference between a bridge game and a dice game? You wear out your pants in two different places
	Corn is right. In other words here's that quiz program with a board of experts who are so dumb that they think and auto-mat is something you wipe your feet on.
*????*	How does a stove feel when it's full of coal? Very grate full.	If a farmer raises 200 bushels of wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella.
	Once more we're here again with that quiz program for people who enjoy the simple minded things in life.
44-05-12	Is it bad luck to postpone a wedding? Not if you keep on postponing it	What is dust? Mud, with the juice squeezed out of it
	When people say it could be worse, they mean IPTBI
45-08-04	What are millionaires? Poor people with lots of money.	What is rhubarb? Celery with high blood pressure.
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that shows you education at low tide.
47-03-07	What are women wearing in shoes this year? Feet.	What is love? The tenth word in a telegram.
	Once again we bring you that quiz program which decided the school teachers to go back to work. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think a kidney garden is a garden that grows kidney beans.
46-01-04	What did the baggy pants leg say to the other? Let's go to press.	Why does a chicken cross the street? Because the light is green.
	Here we are again with another session of that quiz program designed for people with an inferiority complex, with a board of experts who think brains is something you get in a butcher shop.
44-09-01	What did the little dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? Ruff, ruff.	Why don't the girls in Sun Valley take sun baths? Because the mountains peak.
	Here is that quiz program again which has all the educators hollering "Uncle."
45-01-05 (118)	What do we call the inhabitants of Egypt? People.	What are millionaires? Poor people with lots of money.
	We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think a daffodil is a crazy pickle.
45-02-10	What do you call a man unlucky in love? Bachelor	What is marriage? A business in which the man is the silent partner
	Well, it's here again, that quiz program that has given all morons a new lease on life.
*????*	What does a bee get in flower? His head and shoulders.	Why is our language called the Mother Tongue? Because Father never gets a chance to use it.
	Once again we bring you that radio program for people with an inferiority complex.
46-03-08	What happened in 1776? In what hotel?	What's the difference between a sleepy man and a sleepy woman? A sleepy man has a hard time keeping his eyes open. A sleepy woman has a hard time keeping her mouth shut.
	Here we are again with another session of that quiz program that's making morons out of educated people.
51-07-04	What happens when a racetrack gets flooded? They pull the plugs out	How do you make a peach cordial? Buy her a meal.
	This is that quiz program that belongs in the hall of fame, because it's a bust. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think that General Electric is an Army Officer.
52-01-13	What happens when a racetrack gets flooded? They pull the plugs out	What happens when a wife makes bad coffee? Her husband has grounds for divorce
	It's 9 o'clock which means it's time for that quiz program that makes you wonder if education is necessary.
44-11-10 Adolf Menjou	What happens when you eat garlic? You get lonesome.	What is a miser? A man who eats mice.
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that's known far and wide for it's nuisance value.
*49-03-13*	What is a baby sitter? A person who receives hush money.	What is the most useless thing in the world? A glass eye at a keyhole.
	Well, here we are again with another session of that slap-happy quiz program IPTBI -- a program that promises you nothing and that's just exactly what you're gonna get.
46-02-08	What is a bargain sale? A place where a woman ruins one dress to buy another.	Why do men flirt with waitresses? Because they're playing for big steaks.
	Well, here we are again ready for another discussion with those disgusting experts in a quiz program entitled It Pays To Be Ignorant.
45-07-06	What is a bigamist? A man who doesn't know when he's got enough.	How can you carry water in a sieve? That's easy, freeze it.
	We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think rhubarb is celery with high blood pressure.
44-12-22 (116)	What is a blotter? Something you look for while the ink drys.	How do you make money fast? Glue it to the floor.
	Well, here we are again with that under privileged, under nourished, and under slung quiz program It Pays To Be Ignorant.
45-10-19	What is a cowhide used for? To hold the cow together.	What is an epistle? The wife of an apostle.
	Here is our first question - or rather - here is another session of that quiz program for people over 40 who are still in the third grade. We have a board of experts so dumb they think an elephant's trunk is something you put clothes in.
44-01-10	What is a Cubit? Cubit it the language spoken in Cuba.	What is a yawn? The only chance a married man has to open his mouth.
	Well, here it is Monday night again an here's that screwy quiz program to make your evening unbearable. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think a football coach has four wheels.
47-03-28	What is a dentist? A man who runs a filling station.	What is a wife? That woman who sews up that rip in your coat that you tore helping a blond into the cab the night before.
	Here we are again with that quiz program that decided the school teachers they had better go back to work. Our experts consist of three missing cars in the train of thought.
45-04-27	What is a detour? The longest distance between two points.	What is a miser? A man who eats mice.
	From Camp Kilmer, New Brunswick, New Jersey we bring you that quiz program that is the last word in stupidity. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think an officer's mess is the captain's wife.
44-12-15 (115)	What is a duck? A chicken with snowshoes on.	Does courtship make a fellow spoon? Yes, but marriage makes him fork over.
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that for all people over 35 who are still in the second grade.
45-06-22	What is a female bachelor? A lady in waiting	Should a woman hold on to her youth? Yes, but not when he's driving
	We're back with that daffy quiz program otherwise known as Education Takes a Holiday.
45-02-23	What is a flirt? A woman who believes every man for herself.	Why does a stork stand on one leg? Because if he lifted the other one he'd fall flat on his face.
	Well, once again we bring you that quiz program that is definite proof that the government hasn't rationed corn yet. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think a defense plant grows in a flower pot.
46-03-01	What is a fox? A man who gets what the wolf is after.	Why is a woman like a tube of toothpaste? Because you've got to squeeze them both to get anything out of them.
	Well, you've all heard of the March of Time, but here comes the program known as a waste of time.
44-12-01 Oscar Levant	What is a gentleman? A man who never hits a woman with his hat on.	What is etiquette? Learning to yawn with your mouth closed
	Well, here we are again with a quiz program that made it necessary for the educators to discover aspirin
46-01-04	What is a hospitable dog? One who will give you a bite anytime.	Why do young women put their hair up in papers? To wake up curly in the morning.
	Here we are again with that question and answer program that never gets the answers.
44-01-17	What is a Long Neck? A dirty look on a stick.	What do they ask on income tax blanks? Questions.
	Well here we are again, folks, with that lame excuse for a quiz program, with a board of experts that are so dumb they think a dry dock is a physician that don't drink.
48-10-30	What is a love seat? A couple of chairs in search of a balcony.	What is the most dangerous part of an automobile? The nut that hold the wheel.
	Another week and another session of that crazy quiz program IPTBI. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think a baby sitter sits on babies.
47-01-24 Jimmy Stewart	What is a misleading figure? A woman with a girdle on.	What is a half-breed? A man who breathes through one nostril.
	Friday night, another session of that quiz program that became an institution, with a board of experts who belong in one. (Kate Smith subs for Lulu)
52-11-06	What is a mother-in-law sandwich? Cold shoulder and tongue	What is a rumba? A rumba is a foxtrot with the backfield in motion
	Well here we are back again with that silly quiz program IPTBI so you better start twisting your dials around, there may be something better on another station.
45-12-07 (166)	What is a mother-in-law? A tough sergeant with bloomers.	What is a flea? An insect that's gone to the dogs.
	Once again we bring you that quiz program designed to stop the progress of education.
44-12-29 Man Mountain Dean	What is a New Year's Resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.	What is an icicle? A stiff piece of water.
	Well, here it is again, the quiz program which is making the monkeys think they're pretty smart.
46-05-17	What is a nightclub? A place where the tables are reserved but the customers ain't	Why does a chicken sit down while laying an egg? Because it can't stand up under the strain
	Well here is that quiz program again that belongs in the hall of fame because it's a bust
44-04-14	What is a nightmare? A horse that walks in his sleep	Do you know the difference between a popular girl and an unpopular girl? Yes, and no
	Well, here it is again, that quiz program that has college professors beating their heads against stone walls with a board of experts who should have the walls beat against their heads.
43-10-04	What is a reigning beauty? A girl who's all wet.	If four frankfurters cost 10 cents, what is 500 frankfurters? A lot of bologna.
	Well, here we are with that daffy quiz program again with a board of experts who are such boors that they make termites look like amateurs.
??	What is a revolver? A sure cure for Common Colds	What is a wife? The bitter half
	Well, once again we're here with that quiz program that has become an institution because that's where it belongs.
45-11-30	What is a Russian dancer? A man who sits on nothing and kicks.	What is a spinster? A lady in waiting.
	We bring you at this time another session of that zany quiz program know as Howard's Sorrow. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they Chopin's polonaise is a salad dressing.
45-06-01	What is a shyster lawyer? One who's greatest asset is his lie ability.	What is a diplomat? A man who remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that only goes to prove that people will listen to anything. With a board of experts who are so dumb they think a lawsuit is a policeman's uniform.
44-11-03 Shirley Booth	What is a swimming pool? A crowd of people with water in it.	What is a slowest thing on Earth? A nudist trying to get through a barbed wire fence.
	Here we are again with the quiz program in which, and I say this with all modesty, has met with more disdain than any other program on the air.
45-11-23	What is a window screen? Something to keep flies inside the house.	What is a bathing beauty? A girl with a nice profile all the way down.
	Well here's that quiz program again with the board of experts who consists of three people whose brain has been in quarantine ever since the day they were born.
45-10-05	What is a window? Something you use to look through a brick wall with.	What letters of the alphabet come after the letter 'A'? All of them.
	Yes, we are here again with that quiz program known as Idiots Delight, with a board of experts who are so dumb that they think an autobiography has four wheels.
45-10-12	What is alimony? Taxation without representation	What is a pig pen? Something you write a litter with
	Well, here is that quiz program again brought to you through the courtesy of the Moron's Weekly
44-09-08 44-08-18 44-08-22	What is an optimist? A person who does a crossword puzzle in ink.	What do they call the inhabitants of Egypt? People.
	Well, here it is again, that quiz program which is making the monkeys think they're pretty smart.
45-08-24	What is etiquette? Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.	What is the guillotine? The first real cure for dandruff.
	Here we are again with that unessential, unimportant, unbalanced, unnecessary, and uncouth, quiz program IPTBI with a board of experts who are so dumb they think a shoehorn is a musical instrument.
45-02-10 45-05-25)	What is liberty? What a man exchanges for a wife	What is a miser? A man who trains mice
	Once again we being you that quiz program that is a cross between a Mickey Finn and a nervous breakdown.
45-09-07	What is love? Softening of the hearteries	What is marriage? A business in which the husband is the silent partner.
	Well, here is that rat-race again entitled It Pays To Be Ignorant.
45-06-29	What is the difference between a married man and a bachelor 2 When a bachelor walks the floor with a baby, he's dancing.	What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxicabs.
	Here we come at you with that quiz program that is so unbearable that the ushers in the studio have to work on five minute shifts. We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think thumb tacks is a new tax put on hitchhikers.
44-12-08 44-12-08 114 Kate Smith	What kind of a person lives longest? A rich relative	How do you make anti-freeze? Hide her pajamas
	Well, here is that quiz program that should be in the hall of fame, because it's a bust.
44-09-15 (102) Patsy Kelly	What's the best way to keep your bills down? Use a paperweight.	What is a pedestrian? A married man who owns a car.
	Well, it's here again, that quiz program that's the cause for so many schools opening early this year.
45-10-21 45-09-21	When is a watermelon a vegetable? When you drop it and it goes squash	If a little Chinese boy has a toothache, what time is it? Tooth hurty
	Well, here is that quiz program again with an IQ so low they struck oil. We have a board of experts who played Carnegie Hall last Sunday afternoon. Monday the place was sprayed with DDT
46-06-28 (182)	Where do the bugs go in the wintertime? Search me! No thanks	If I had $10 and I took half of it, what would I have? A fractured skull.
	Well, here we are coming at you again with another session of It Pays To Be Ignorant, a quiz program that has become a household word -- but we're not permitted to tell you the word.
45-07-20	Who was Rip Van Winkle? A man who slept for 20 years because his neighbors had no radio	What is horse sense? Something a horse has that keeps him from setting on people
	Once again we bring you that quiz program which only goes to prove that if you ask silly people silly questions you get silly answers.
46-01-11	Why are women like the ocean? Because they never dry up.	Why doesn't a regular soldier sit down? Because he belongs to the standing army.
	Here we are again with that quiz program designed for cylinder heads. If you like sophisticated humor, we haven't got it.
44-10-06 Deems Taylor	Why do people eat garlic? So they can find them in the dark.	How do you make anti-freeze? Hide her pajamas
	We have a board of experts who are so dumb they think the Mayor of New York is a horse.
44-09-29 Leo Durocher	Why do some people eat with their knives? To sharpen their appetites.	Name 3 famous opera stars. John Charles Thomas
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that is fast becoming an institution, and that's where it belongs.
48-02-05	Why do wedding bells ring? Because someone pulls the rope.	What do they call little cats in Ireland? Kittens.
	Today's the day, the place is New York City, the program is It Pays to be Ignorant. A program that just asks questions and never gets any answers
44-10-20 (107)	Why does a chicken cross the street? Because it's got the green light	What did Julius Caesar say when Brutus stabbed him? Ouch!
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program that is a favorite with the scissor grinders union because it's so dull.
*????*	Why does the subway have to raise the fare? Because they're always in a hole.	What is a honeymoon? The thrill of a wifetime
	Once again we bring you that quiz program with the board of experts who are so dumb they think an officer's mess is the captain's wife.
48-10-23	Why is a man like a worm? Because some chicken always gets him	What's the difference between a bad boy and a postage stamp? One you lick with a stick and the other you stick with a lick
	Another week and another session of the screwy quiz program that reminds you of a gymnasium because it's full of dumbbells
45-03-23	Why is a room full of married people empty? Because there's not a single person in it.	Is stealing a kiss petty larceny? No, it's grand.
	Well, we bring you once again that quiz program that has nothing to worry about if they ever put a curfew on education. Our board of experts consist of 3 pinheads off a war mat.
44-02-07 (069)	Why is a watchdog smaller in the daytime? Because he's let out at night	What would you call a person who's afraid of water? Dirty
	Well, here we are with that quiz program which makes everybody connected with it look silly
44-11-17 Harry Hirshfield	Why is kissing a girl like opening a bottle of olives? The first is hard to get, but the rest comes easy.	What is an organ recital? A bunch of women talking about their operations.
	Well, it's here again, that quiz program which is the last word, but we're not permitted to mention the word.
44-09-22 (103)	Why is marriage like taking a bath? Because after you get used to it it's not so hot	What is an old maid? A 'yes' woman who never got a chance to talk
	Well, here we are again with that quiz program only for people in their second childhood. We have a board of expert who think Yale College is where they make locks.

[ Top | Introduction | Shows | Song ]

Show Dates

The following is a list of all episode dates based on the radio listings from The New York Times
Any dates listed in red as pre were preempted shows

NOTE: If you try to correlate the show numbers and the dates from the chart above you will find
the show numbers will not match the given dates, and some dates above are duplicated or listed
on a date there was no show. This is why I mentioned above I consider the dates questionable.

8:30 Thu Mutual
42-06-25	001
42-07-02	002
42-07-09	003
42-07-16	004
42-07-23	005
42-07-30	006
42-08-06	007
42-08-13	008
42-08-20	009
42-08-27	010
42-09-03	011
42-09-10	012
42-09-17	013
42-09-24	014
42-10-01	015
42-10-08	016
42-10-15	pre
42-10-22	017
42-10-29	018
42-11-05	019
42-11-12	020
42-11-19	021

7:30 Mon Mutual
42-11-23	022
42-11-30	023
42-12-07	024
42-12-14	025
42-12-21	026
42-12-28	027
43-01-04	028
43-01-11	029
43-01-18	030
43-01-25	031
43-02-01	032
43-02-08	033
43-02-15	034
43-02-22	035
43-03-01	036
43-03-08	037
43-03-15	038
43-03-22	039
43-03-29	040
43-04-05	041
43-04-12	042
43-04-19	043
43-04-26	044
43-05-03	045
43-05-10	046
43-05-17	047
43-05-24	048
43-05-31	049
43-06-07	050
43-06-14	051
43-06-21	052
43-06-28	053
43-07-05	054
43-07-12	055
43-07-19	056
43-07-26	057
43-08-02	058
43-08-09	059
43-08-16	060
43-08-23	061
43-08-30	062
43-09-06	063
43-09-13	064
43-09-20	065
43-09-27	066
43-10-04	067
43-10-11	068
43-10-18	069
43-10-25	070
43-11-01	071
43-11-08	072
43-11-15	073
43-11-22	074
43-11-29	075
43-12-06	076
43-12-13	077
43-12-20	078
43-12-27	079
44-01-03	080
44-01-10	081
44-01-17	082
44-01-24	083
44-01-31	084
44-02-07	085
44-02-14	086
44-02-21	087

9:00 Fri ABC
44-02-25	088
44-03-03	089
44-03-10	090
44-03-17	091
44-03-24	092
44-03-31	093
44-04-07	094
44-04-14	095
44-04-21	096
44-04-28	097
44-05-05	098
44-05-12	099
44-05-19	100
44-05-26	101
44-06-02	102
44-06-09	103
44-06-16	104
44-06-23	105
44-06-30	106
44-07-07	107
44-07-14	108
44-07-21	109
44-07-28	110
44-08-04	111
44-08-11	112
44-08-18	113
44-08-25	114
44-09-01	115
44-09-08	116
44-09-15	117
44-09-22	118
44-09-29	119
44-10-06	120
44-10-13	121
44-10-20	122
44-10-27	123
44-11-03	124
44-11-10	125
44-11-17	126
44-11-24	127
44-12-01	128
44-12-08	129
44-12-15	130
44-12-22	131
44-12-29	132
45-01-05	133
45-01-12	134
45-01-19	135
45-01-26	136
45-02-02	137
45-02-09	138
45-02-16	139
45-02-23	140
45-03-02	141
45-03-09	142
45-03-16	143
45-03-23	144
45-03-30	145
45-04-06	146
45-04-13	147
45-04-20	148
45-04-27	149
45-05-04	150
45-05-11	151
45-05-18	152
45-05-25	153
45-06-01	154
45-06-08	155
45-06-15	156
45-06-22	157
45-06-29	158
45-07-06	159
45-07-13	160
45-07-20	161
45-07-27	162
45-08-03	163
45-08-10	164
45-08-17	165
45-08-24	166
45-08-31	167
45-09-07	168
45-09-14	169
45-09-21	170
45-09-28	171
45-10-05	172
45-10-12	173
45-10-19	174
45-10-26	175
45-11-02	176
45-11-09	177
45-11-16	178
45-11-23	179
45-11-30	180
45-12-07	181
45-12-14	182
45-12-21	183
45-12-28	184
46-01-04	185
46-01-11	186
46-01-18	pre
46-01-25	187

9:00 Fri ABC
46-05-03	188
46-05-10	189
46-05-17	190
46-05-24	191
46-05-31	192
46-06-07	193
46-06-14	194
46-06-21	195
46-06-28	196
46-07-05	197
46-07-12	198
46-07-19	199
46-07-26	200
46-08-02	201
46-08-09	202
46-08-16	203
46-08-23	204
46-08-30	205
46-09-06	206
46-09-13	207

10:00 Fri ABC
46-09-20	208
46-09-27	209
46-10-04	210
46-10-11	211
46-10-18	212
46-10-25	213
46-11-01	214
46-11-08	215
46-11-15	216
46-11-22	217
46-11-29	218
46-12-06	219
46-12-13	220
46-12-20	221
46-12-27	222
47-01-03	223
47-01-10	224
47-01-17	225
47-01-24	226
47-01-31	227
47-02-07	228
47-02-14	229
47-02-21	230
47-02-28	231
47-03-07	232
47-03-14	233
47-03-21	234
47-03-28	235
47-04-04	pre
47-04-11	236
47-04-18	237
47-04-25	238
47-05-02	239
47-05-09	240
47-05-16	241
47-05-23	242
47-05-30	243
47-06-06	244
47-06-13	245
47-06-20	246
47-06-27	247
47-07-04	248
47-07-11	249
47-07-18	250
47-07-25	251
47-08-01	252
47-08-08	253
47-08-15	254
47-08-22	255
47-08-29	256
47-09-05	257
47-09-12	258
47-09-19	259
47-09-26	260
47-10-03	261
47-10-10	262
47-10-17	263
47-10-24	pre
47-10-31	264
47-11-07	265
47-11-14	266
47-11-21	267
47-11-28	268
47-12-05	269
47-12-12	270
47-12-19	pre
47-12-26	270
48-01-02	271
48-01-09	272
48-01-16	273
48-01-23	274
48-01-30	275
48-02-06	276

10:30 Sat ABC
48-02-28	283
48-03-06	284
48-03-13	285
48-03-20	286
48-03-27	287
48-04-03	288
48-04-10	289
48-04-17	290
48-04-24	291
48-05-01	292
48-05-08	293
48-05-15	294
48-05-22	295
48-05-29	296
48-06-05	297
48-06-12	298
48-06-19	299
48-06-26	300
48-07-03	301

9:30 Sat CBS
48-07-10	302
48-07-17	303
48-07-24	304
48-07-31	305
48-08-07	306
48-08-14	307
48-08-21	308
48-08-28	309
48-09-04	310
48-09-11	311
48-09-18	312
48-09-25	313
48-10-02	314
48-10-09	315
48-10-16	316
48-10-23	317
48-10-30	318
48-11-06	319
48-11-13	320
48-11-20	321
48-11-27	322
48-12-04	323
48-12-11	324
48-12-18	325
48-12-25	326
49-01-01	327

10:30 Sun CBS
49-01-09	328
49-01-16	329
49-01-23	330
49-01-30	331
49-02-06	332
49-02-13	333
49-02-20	334
49-02-27	335
49-03-06	336
49-03-13	337
49-03-20	338
49-03-27	339
49-04-03	pre
49-04-10	340
49-04-17	pre
49-04-24	341
49-05-01	342
49-05-08	343
49-05-15	344
49-05-22	pre
49-05-29	345
49-06-05	346
49-06-12	347
49-06-19	348
49-06-26	349

9:30 Tue CBS
49-07-05	350
49-07-12	351
49-07-19	352
49-07-26	353
49-08-02	354
49-08-09	355
49-08-16	356
49-08-23	357
49-08-30	358
49-09-06	359
49-09-13	360
49-09-20	361

9:00 Wed CBS
50-07-05	362
50-07-12	363
50-07-19	364
50-07-26	365
50-08-02	366
50-08-09	367
50-08-16	368
50-08-23	369
50-08-30	370
50-09-06	371
50-09-13	372
50-09-20	373
50-09-27	374

9:00 Wed NBC
51-07-04	375
51-07-11	376
51-07-18	377
51-07-25	378
51-08-01	379
51-08-08	380
51-08-15	381
51-08-22	382
51-08-29	383
51-09-05	384
51-09-12	385
51-09-19	386
51-09-26	387

[ Top | Introduction | Shows | Dates | ]

Theme Song


From 44-11-17 show:	One day as I was walking Down the avenue, I met a funny fellow With a funny point of view.
	He didn't have a brain cell Working in his head, But he was very happy And this is what he said:
Chorus:	It pays to be ignorant, To be dumb, to be dense, To be ignorant. It pays to be ignorant, Just like me.
	It's best not to know too much, Be a dope, Your I.Q. Shouldn't show too much. Your brain shouldn't grow too much, Wait and see.
	I took my girl to dinner, We had a wonderful feed. They had to give my girl the check Because I couldn't read.
Chorus:	(So you see) It pays to be ignorant, Have no brain, Be insane, Just be ignorant. It pays to be ignorant Just like me
From various other shows:	When I was just a school kid I wasn't awfully bright, I had a pretty teacher who Made me stay in each night.
	Each week I earn six dollars, My brain is terribly lax. But when there is no income There ain't no income tax.
and for the war effort:	I never mention our planes, Planes or ships or our tanks, Ol' Adolf never learned a thing To hurt our fighting yanks.
Chorus:	It pays to be ignorant, Have no brain, to be inane, To be ignorant. It pays to be ignorant, Just like me.

[ Top | Introduction | Shows | Dates | Theme Song ]

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, additions, please contact

It Pays To Be Ignorant

Quiz Master:

Tom Howard

Panelists:

Harry McNaughton Lulu McConnell George Shelton

Announcer:

Ken Roberts

Music:

Dr. Nat Novick

Introduction

Available Shows

ordered by first question

Show Dates

8:30 Thu Mutual

7:30 Mon Mutual

9:00 Fri ABC

9:00 Fri ABC

10:00 Fri ABC

10:30 Sat ABC

9:30 Sat CBS

10:30 Sun CBS

9:30 Tue CBS

9:00 Wed CBS

9:00 Wed NBC

Theme Song

Harry McNaughton
Lulu McConnell
George Shelton